The End of an Odyssey

Well, Dear Reader, this is it. My final Semester at Sea Blog Post. Over the past few months, I've been so grateful for everyone who has accompanied me on this journey - virtually and in-person! - and it still feels surreal to be firmly on land for the foreseeable future. It's been difficult to summarize the last semester, hence the month-long delay since I disembarked for the final time. The revelations and changes will still be unveiling themselves to me over many, many years to come, and there's a part of me that isn't ready to share everything yet. For now, I'm trying my best to dissect some of my more immediate takeaways.

My final assignment in Global Studies was my Comparative Experiential project, in which I had to answer four questions:

Who was I when I started this voyage?
Who am I now?
How has what I heave learned in Global Studies and my in-country experiences changed me?
What will I do differently after this voyage?

As I've sat here over the past four weeks and tried to write this all-encompassing final post, I've found myself flashing back to these questions a lot. They encouraged us to tackle this final project creatively, so I ended up curating a playlist of songs and annotating them - I called it "Songs From a World Odyssey" and it's one of the projects I'm most proud of from my collegiate experience. While I won't be sharing all of my annotations (that would be like baring my soul on the internet and that's a no from me), I opted to draw from that assignment for this post, including a link to the playlist, as well as some commentary on how my perspective has shifted over the past month.

Additionally, I've included a gallery of photos from throughout the voyage - but especially from the last week at sea - at the end of this post for you to peruse, smile, and laugh at.

So, for one last time, let's dive in to a Semester at Sea blog post!

Who was I when I started this voyage?

Songs:

"Twenty Something" by Bre Kennedy
"Rivers and Roads" by The Head and the Heart
"Blue Eyed Girl" by The Arcadian Wild

You'd think this would be the easiest question to answer. All you have to do is talk about your life pre-SAS, your home institution/friends/family etc. But I found myself strangely paralyzed by this, and it became apparent that I really didn't know who I was when I left Indiana on January 1st.

In my defense, my world had been absolutely overturned about three weeks before leaving for Dubai - everything I thought I knew, everything I had blatantly assumed to be a constant was spectacularly proven wrong and I was left feeling so completely untethered. On Embarkation Day, I had this incredible unknown stretched out in front of me; it just took a while to realize that I didn't recognize the path behind me either, and that that would undoubtedly impact my experience at sea.

In some ways, leaving home was a necessary step for me. If I think back to IUHPFL, when I went 6 weeks without any real contact with home, that was a huge help in processing the twists and turns that my junior year of high school had brought. I flew back from Chile with a much freer understanding of the kind of person I wanted to become in the next chapter of my life. Shipping out to India was a similar experience: I could functionally shut out "normal life" back home, try to work things out on my own and come back to Indiana with a more objective perspective on the state of affairs. Seeing as I've yet to return to the States, I have no idea if that'll be the case come July, but we'll see...

And while that was all well and good for my personal growth, I still had to answer the question for my assignment: Who was I before I started this voyage?

In my annotations, I talked about being a twenty-something and feeling a little lost in the world, unsure of who I was/where home was/what I wanted out of life. I used "Rivers and Roads" to talk about the connection between my sister and I, as well as the distance between myself and my family, having always been the youngest, the one who had to hurry up and get older so everyone else could move on to the next phase; with "Blue Eyed Girl", I spoke of the person I'd worked hard to become, someone more open, more positive than High School Natalie. Someone who was perhaps still a bit scared of the world, but determined to see it nonetheless.

It's not a comprehensive answer to the question, but I was (I am) proud of the introspection and the ways in which I recognized myself in those songs.

Who am I now?

Songs:

"Shipyards" by The Lake Poets
"Pink Pony Club" by Chappell Roan
"Always Starting Over" from the Broadway musical If/Then

Okay, can I just say: this is a totally unfair question. For real. I'm writing this blog post 1 month after SAS, and I am still unraveling the ways in which I've changed since leaving for Dubai. How in the world was I supposed to find an accurate answer while I was still in the thick of things? But I digress.

Since I didn't have the benefit of hindsight while writing the assignment, I mainly focused on the perspective changes I had noticed throughout the voyage - deeper cultural understandings, a better grasp on historical/political histories in areas often ignored by high school social studies, etc.

I wrote about the adventures I went on during SAS (cliff jumping! karaoke! snorkeling!) and how the voyage had reminded me to take initiative on chasing my own happiness. And looking back now, I can see how beneficial that takeaway was. I fell into a loop on the ship of never really articulating what I wanted for fear of being isolated in consequence; now, I am able to distinguish when I truly want something versus going with the flow, as well as advocating for myself in various situations.

From an academic standpoint, I felt SAS also had a huge impact on me. I've always been a perfectionist, chasing an elusive, all-As report card. Ever since the spectacularly-disappointing end to high school (thank you COVID), I had been slowly appreciating school less and less. I had worked myself to the bone in high school, and when I graduated via Zoom on the 20+ year old couch in my living room, there wasn't really a sense of accomplishment there, just a "okay. well. that's done now. time to move on."

That academic fatigue though to college. Before I knew it, school had become less about "oh, let's go learn about something that truly interests me, something I'm passionate about or something I could see myself having a career in" and more about "okay, let's map out exactly how to get the A and move on in this course that I have to take for my major" - no joy or enthusiasm required. School had stopped being about learning and had become more of a contractual obligation: something I had signed up for and felt compelled to finish.

Semester at Sea changed all of that. For the first time in years, I was reminded that learning is supposed to be fun. Challenging, yes, but still enjoyable. Living with my professors and their families was an excellent reminder that (most) professors want to see you succeed, they are rooting for you both in and out of the classroom. Going on our in-country field classes demonstrated the real-world application of what we learned - college should not be a checklist on the way to a degree, but an interactive era where you take what you learn with you into your personal and professional life. And outside of the classroom - I was still learning! Our Cross Currents lectures/Interport Lecturers were key in reminding us that Lifelong Learning is an essential thing, and in even in casual conversation with other SASers or locals, I was always learning, always growing. This isn't to say that I wasn't still stressed about grades and assignments (and I'm grateful to my friends and family who reluctantly proofread my essays that I send them on short notice), but I rediscovered my love for learning on the ship. I felt more like Natalie from Shamrock Springs, the girl who couldn't sleep the night before the First Day of School because she was so excited to get back in the classroom. Going back to Purdue for my last two semesters will surely bring about some adjustments and growing pains, but I'm actually energized to go back to school again, for the first time in ages.

How has what I have learned in Global Studies and my in-country experiences changed me?

Songs:

"Both Sides Now" by Joni Mitchell
"Simple Song" by The Shins
"And So It Goes" by Billy Joel

Well, this one may be a bit boring to you, seeing as you didn't take my Global Studies class, and therefore have no idea what I learned there. And yet! Here we are.

Some background on the Global Studies course: it was the only required class for every SASer. We had two sections, but each was the same, and the course rotated between three instructors and topics:

Dr. Scott with The Blue World (Environmental/Scientific lens)
Dr. Lori with Intercultural Competence (Cultural/Social lens)
Dr. Kelly with Country & Culture Discovery (Historical/Cultural lens)

To keep it relatively short & sweet for you, Dear Reader, I'll share my main lesson and takeaway from each section of the course.

The Blue World: Simple. Serious. Solvable. This was Dr. Scott's mantra on the Climate/Environmental Issues the world currently faces. I learned a lot about the science behind global warming, and while my Liberal Arts brain still gets lost when we start talking about carbon sinks and whatnot, I get the gist of it it now. More importantly, though, was my attitude on the subject. Before SAS, I was one of those pessimistic people that didn’t really believe in the possibility of a soft landing for my generation; I fully assumed that there wasn't a realistic way to recover, I didn't believe that people would put in the effort to improve the world at the cost of their own comfort. After seeing how everyday people tackle the climate crisis in different countries, though, visiting net zero emissions buildings in places like Cyprus (botanical garden) and India (local business college), I have a bit more hope. Sometimes it's as simple as not using plastic bags at the grocery store - but this is an attainable outcome, if we all work together.
Intercultural Competence: The Danger of a Single Story. If you're not familiar with this viral TedTalk, it's worth the watch. This was the first thing we covered in Global Studies, but it was a recurring theme throughout the semester. It's when we approach things with the arrogance of "I know this angle, surely I understand the issue and all its complexities" that things get undeniably worse. It was a reminder to me to always push for differing angles on stories - don't take the first thing you hear as the ultimate authority on something. For example, when we were in Cyprus, we heard a lot of Greek Cypriot perspectives on The Cyprus Problem; it wasn't until I heard a Turkish Cypriot's thoughts that I started to ask the right questions in terms of how I could contextualize the issue. In the time I've been traveling since SAS, this has been the most frequent change in how I've approached things. I'll speak on this more in future posts, but it has been crucial for me to constantly reframe how I understand conflicts in Eastern Europe while I travel here.
Country & Culture Discovery: History is Written by the Victors and the News is the First Draft of History. I feel like this one doesn't need a lot of explanation...Similar to The Danger of a Single Story, Dr. Kelly really encouraged us to interact with locals and their culture to get a better understanding of how A) they see their history and B) they see us. It was said that The American Century started in the 1940s, post WWII. If that's the case, our era of complete power is coming to an end, and it's worth considering the role we play in other people's stories, as well as how we understand those stories.

What will I do differently after this voyage?

Songs:

"Cold in California" by Ashe
"A Safe Place to Land" by Sara Bareilles & John Legend
"Chasing the Sun" by Sara Bareilles

A lot of my annotations for this final question had to do with perspective and expectations. And, truth be told, honesty. If you followed my blog last summer in Spain, you know that I tended to approach my Madrid experiences with humor and a bit of playful exasperation - laughing at the cuisine Pilar prepared for us or poking fun at how hot it was. When I came back, everyone asked "how was it? did you love it? etc." and I always responded "yes! it was great! 10/10!" In actuality, that was a really rough six weeks for me. I was so malnourished, so sleep-deprived, and really isolated. If not for rooming with Liz, I don't think I would've talked to a single person in my apartment.

But coming on SAS, it's been a series of high highs and low lows. It's been fantastic and grueling, incredible and incredulous, with some serious whiplash between the two. Songs like "Cold in California" and "A Safe Place to Land" reminded me that the experience isn't all peaks or all valleys; rather, it's the trek to the high points and the unavoidable descents. As the song goes, it still gets cold in California, and that's okay. Things will surpass expectations and fall terribly short of them - but what I'll do differently in the future? I'll put less pressure on myself to achieve the image I have in my head. I'll spend more time chasing the sun, so to speak, doing the best I can to make the world a better place while I go in search of stories to tell.

Final Thoughts

So. Here we are. That final question has me in a very introspective mood right now. But yes, that was my Semester at Sea experience.

Was it everything I expected? Certainly not. In some ways, it was more magical than I could've imagined. The memories I made, the stories I collected - well, it's hard to beat watching the sunrise in Wadi Rum, unless it's a sunset in Dubrovnik. I got my first small taste of independent travel, exploring port cities by myself and relying on the kindness of strangers - a big step for me! As I mentioned earlier, I disembarked from the ship with a much clearer head on a personal and academic level, two takeaways that mean the world to me in more ways than one.

In other ways, SAS was so far from what I expected. I have a lot of happy memories from the people I met on the ship, the movie nights & boozy brunches - even just dinner table conversations. But there were hours/days/weeks when I was achingly lonely, so in need of someone to comfort me after a creepy encounter in-country or help me pick up the pieces when it all felt so big. Someone to share the voyage with, someone who would innately understand the fraternity of experience SAS creates. There was (still is, really) a part of me that was devastated to not find the lifelong best friends people write about in alumni testimonials, especially when it felt like everyone else did. When I look back now, though, just a month later, I already have a deeper sense of clarity. What I needed and what I wanted from SAS were two different things - just as what everyone else needed and wanted differed from one another. I can't say that I found the Meredith to my Christina, but I grew to appreciate the smaller connections I formed. I wasn't anchored to any one person in particular; rather, I had a lot of ships passing in the night. For the rest of my life, I'll think of Teija, Sam & Emma when I remember Croatia; Katy, Ari & Joe in India; Alexa, Eleni & George in Cyprus; Kelsi, Annakate, Lauren, Laney & Taylor at sea. I have made a mosaic of memories - of people and places and things from this voyage. And I'm only just beginning to see how it takes shape from a distance.

Would I do it again? In a heartbeat. Before boarding the ship, my biggest fear was that I would leave full of regrets. And I can truly say, in this moment, that I have none. Even on my worst days, I could see that I was working towards something so much better for myself. All the tears, all the smiles, all the misadventures and mistakes and moments of doubt - they were all in pursuit of myself, of the parts of me I had yet to discover, had yet to familiarize myself with. As I write this, I'm sitting in a hostel in Albania, tearing up. The magnitude of what I've accomplished has only started to appear. But this I know: I am so grateful for this voyage, for Semester at Sea and MV World Odyssey. And as this journey comes to a close, I know I'm embarking on my next one as a different person, one I'm so excited to meet.

Semester at Sea, Spring 2023, Voyage 131. That's a wrap.

Some of my favorite on-ship photos from the whole experience in (mostly) chronological order. It only begins to describe the "at sea" part of the semester, but it's a start :)